


Quiet the Chaos

by Starshaker



Series: Lost and Found [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6098386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starshaker/pseuds/Starshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux has spent his whole life with focus and commitment but recent events have allowed distraction into the cracks of his composure. There's evidence of Snoke's current distrust of him and he doesn't know whether he can have confidence in Captain Phasma's loyalty, or if he should even ask loyalty of her in the circumstances. </p><p>Kylo Ren becomes Hux's priority, and Hux will suffer for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet the Chaos

Hux remains entirely loyal to the First Order. At least for all intents and purposes Hux’s behaviour had been exemplary as usual. Snoke didn’t mention Kylo Ren’s departure and Hux ignored the questions that surfaced after each meeting as to whether Snoke’s silence on the matter was because of knowledge or ignorance. 

He quashed his errant thoughts by working extensively on potential strategies and theoretical attacks. If he continued that way the Resistance would never complete a successful attack on them again. 

Another distraction was pushing himself to his body’s physical limits. He ran until he could only just put one foot in front of another to get back to his room. He practiced familiar positions on the gymnastic bars and hoops until his arms shook with effort to hold up a datapad. 

Phasma would join him occasionally. Separate activities in the same space. They’d share the occasional comment or quip or competitive challenge. Hux imagined that if they met under other circumstances they would be friends. Friendships weren’t made easily when you didn’t know if the next time you saw them you might have to shoot them without pretence.

The Captain was a smart and well equipped fighter, a loyal member of the First Order and an intelligent and adviser. Hux valued her company and admired her strength and then one day came when Hux wondered whether he’d been her superior and friend all along. 

Hux was practicing in the gymnastic hoops when the Captain entered the gym in full uniform. Hux watched from the corner of his vision as she crossed the room. She stopped to wait just outside of his dismount area.

Hux swung himself down and landed carefully just infront of her. He wondered if she would smirk beneath the helmet at the showy move.  
“There’s been a report come in I thought you would wish to hear,”  
“Something you couldn’t send to my datapad,”  
“I didn’t think you’d prefer it, no,” She said, “May I remove my helmet, General?” Hux could think of nothing so concerning that Phasma would find it necessary to reveal her expression.  
“As you wish Captain,” He nodded sharply.  
“Thank you,” She unhooked her helmet and tucked it beneath her arm. There was a wariness in her look, “There’s been a possible sighting of Kylo Ren. The resistance are currently working to confirm and track him down,” Hux felt himself bristle at Ren’s name though his practised emotionless expression remained.  
“How do we know this is not part of Lord Snoke’s plan?” He asked and from the slight tip of Phasma’s head and concerned pinch of her brow he realised he’d made mistake. He couldn’t work out the reason.  
“Sir?”  
“Is there a problem?” He asked. Phamsa professional attitude wouldn’t allow her to share Hux’s ignorance.  
“Kylo Ren has been publicly declared a traitor. I was informed by a Knight of Ren personally,” Her brow was furrowed further, “ I assumed you had too,”  
“I see,” He was careful with his words though his mind immediately tripped over a dozen scenarios. Snoke had known, and had shielded Hux from his full plan thereafter to see how Hux would continue to act. He hoped he’d put on a good enough show.

“May I ask a question sir?” Phasma asked, her voice broke his thoughts back into the present.  
“If it’s absolutely necessary,” He huffed reaching for his towel from the floor.  
“Will or are my loyalties being tested?”She asked, her words plain and straight forward. If she did not mince her words with Hux then Hux would not do her the disservice in return.

“I think its my loyalties which are being tested, Captain Phasma,” He met her gaze and was surprised, though he probably shouldn’t have been. Her respect and attentiveness remained.

“Are you questioning yourself?” She asked, her voice lower so that no eavesdropped might have overheard them.  
“With regards Kylo Ren, I’m sure you can answer that for yourself. You’re certainly astute enough,”  
“How will your decision affect my priorities, sir?” Phasma asked, her eyes narrowed and Hux for a moment feared she would go above his head to report their frank conversation. He respected her enough that he would not hold it against her.

“You serve the First Order Captain,” He told her. “Until such time as you question my own or Lord Snoke’s instruction you’ll do your job,” and with any luck she would not be persecuted for whatever foolish decisions Hux was inclined towards.

“Yes sir,”  
“Is that all?”  
“The trooper who took the message has sworn to the up-most discretion on the matter, and our conversation has not been recorded,”  
“Thank you captain, I’ll forward further instructions when I have cause to, dismissed,”  
“Sir,” She returned her helmet and left the room. Hux did not wait for the appearance of any further staff or storm troopers. Either they would find him and escort him to a holding cell immediately or they would not come at all. In either case he’d bear it better after having showered and changed.

 

His shower was less than efficient as Hux ended up staring down at his own hands instead of washing with any haste under the scalding water. After every bit of training and conditioning he’d willingly and forcibly endured, he didn’t think he could draw on a moment of it should he be faced with a choice over Kylo Ren. A feeling of guilt and loss pulled at his gut until he shut off the water and dried himself quickly. 

He believed Snoke and his Knights of Ren must surely be biding their time until Hux showed his weakness and was no longer useful before cutting him down. This new information on Kylo Ren was presented as a trap for him. If so he did not know how would he prevail. He wondered if Snoke had set it up from the start, to test Hux’s commitment to the cause, if Ren had been informed of the plan, or simply used due to circumstance. He thought perhaps they had been a test for each other.

 

When Hux looked up from his thoughts he realised he’d walked straight past the turning for his own quarters and was half way to Kylo Ren’s rooms. He continued on.

No-one had been inside Ren’s rooms since his departure. No-one would have authorisation but him and Phasma. 

A dim grey light emanated for the the far wall and Hux was loathe to turn the main light on. He sat on the bed as his eyes adjusted and found the room looked barer than his own. The only identifying feature of the room was Darth Vader’s incinerated helmet on it’s short pedestal facing the bed. The room seemed to turn his gut with it’s chill atmosphere, and if the feeling of this room were the feeling of the dark side, it wasn’t the supreme power it professed. 

Hux stood and looked down at the helmet.  
“Did you ever feel a fool in pursuit of your beliefs?” He asked it, “If the Resistance stories are to be believed you did, in the end,” He turned away and glanced around the room when a panel of wall beside the light panel caught his eye. The gap between it and the next looked wider as if the panel had been removed and misplaced. Hux leant closer to inspect it and thin scratches revealed themselves where it had been pried out. Hux pressed his fingers to the panel and after a moment of pressure the panel popped free. 

Behind it within the wall cavity a shelf crossed between the wall panelling. A small leather bound book lay beneath a layer of dust. Hux picked it up and blew the excess dust from it before slipping it into an inside pocket of his jacket and replacing the panel. With a final glance around the room to make sure nothing else was evidently out of place he slipped from the room and returned to his own quarters. 

The book remained inside his jacket until he’d returned to his room, had dinner, and set in motion the details of the next days objectives. The idea of it played at the edge of his thoughts. Hux was changing into his sleep clothes when he felt he could put off examining the book no longer. 

 

He sat on his bed with the book in his hands. This was something very personal to Ren surely, for him to have hidden it so. And yet he’d left it behind. To forget, perhaps, all it contained.

Hux opened it quickly once he’d decided to and the pages fell open, past a number of hand written pages, to a page obviously ripped from another. A typed page carefully folded and placed beside the last handwritten entry. Hux unfolded it to see it headed with the ancient and original symbol of the dark side of the Force and followed by a definition of sorts. 

 

The dark side of the force is bound in anger and hatred and offers the ultimate control over life and death. It allows the user to draw on their most powerful of emotions and with practice, manipulate the greatest of powers. Those who have not experienced it suggest it is corruptive and destructive but they will never feel the control and empowerment achieved via the dark side of the force. 

 

Hux read only a few fragments from the page before his eyes were drawn to the handwritten piece on the page it had been placed by. It was in Kylo Ren’s hand yet hastily scratched onto the page. 

 

The dark side of the force is despair and desperation and the offer of one last hope when you have lost all control. One last chance that something can save you from feeling it or anything at all.  
I gave up the last of my control in servitude to Snoke. He claims to understand. He doesn’t . I don’t think I’ll ever be rid of his voice in my head even though for a time I had another to drown him out. 

There is something beyond the pain and dark emptiness which Snoke has tried to teach me. I’ve felt it and craved it and it’s nothing like the dark side of the force. If I leave I can hold on to it. I think it’s love. A desperate love. If I leave I might be able save both my feelings and the focus of my feelings. 

 

Hux slammed the book shut. As much as he tried, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling as though a whole had been wrenched open in his gut. He curled in on himself and dropped his head to his knees. 

If Kylo Ren was alive he’d have to find him. Hux wasn’t sure how he could convince him, or what he’d convince Kylo to do, but he had to know what it felt like to have Kylo stood at his side. 

He took a deep breath and sat up straight in order to compose himself. He stood and returned the journal to his jacket. Until then he’d have to be smart about getting in the way of Snoke’s pursuit of his disgraced apprentice. 

 

Captain Phasma stood with him on the bridge when they drop out of hyperspace just outside Anoth’s orbit. Below them Snoke’s ship was already in orbit waiting for them and Hux can’t help but cast a look the Captain’s way. He straightened his shoulders and glanced away when she looked his way. His hand felt the blaster beneath his jacket, the small book in his inside pocket and he mentally listed the concealed knives on his person. They gave him a small reassurance. 

A message comes through to the console immediately and Hux barely hears the words repeated to him by the officer.  
“Captain if you would assemble a landing party. On your way to the planet you can escort me to the Lord Commander’s ship,”  
“I’ll be ready by the time you reach the ship,” He nodded to her and She left to get to work. Hux turned back to the officers on the bridge.  
“Maintain the ship’s position until instructed otherwise by either myself or Captain Phasma. Keep me informed directly of any local activity,”  
“Yes sir,” The chorus of affirmations were returned to him. He turned on his heel and headed down to the docking bay.

 

Hux stepped out onto Snoke’s ship and his mind is immediately invaded. He couldn’t tell what was being searched for but the presence caught him off guard and his step faltered. Phasma caught his arm as his balance was undermined and he thanked her curtly. The rest of the landing party remain in their seats on the transporter. He was beyond the sight of their peripheral vision and out of their hearing range.

“I’ll be back shortly,” Hux told Phasma as he glanced out of the exit ramp.  
“You don’t wish us to go on ahead sir?” He looks back at her and confirmed.  
“Against my better judgement I want to be there should our intel be validated,” He explained. If Hux didn’t go with them to the planet there would be little chance of Ren being returned to the ship alive.  
“Yes sir,” Phasma said and Hux took his leave to the group of Stormtroopers who identified themselves as his escort to Lord Snoke.

Hux had been aboard Snoke’s high command ship only once previously and though he remembered the way to Snoke’s chamber he was escorted by four troopers as if he were already a prisoner. It was almost a relief when he entered Snoke’s darkened chambers alone. Much like on the Finalizer a long bridge led to Snoke’s throne yet all around them he could see the planet and the stars stretching out around them. 

“General Hux.” Snokes voice filled Hux’s mind without disturbing the silence of the cavernous room. There would be no secret Hux could prevent Snoke from seeing.  
“My Lord,” Hux bowed his head sharply.  
“There is a great turning point coming ever close. I have known for a long time that you would be here,”

Hux watched on without a word. A twist of fear in his gut at his own potential having been shown to Snoke in the Force. 

“You wish to join the landing party in search of the former Kylo Ren,” Snoke said and Hux saw a cloaked figure appear from the corner of the throne. The electric cold that itched Hux’s skin told him that this was Snoke.  
“I thought it appropriate. Should I attend to it?”  
“There’ll be no-one landing on that planet without my approval General Hux, and there are some things to be seen to first,”

Hux’s head suddenly felt like it was being torn at from the inside out. He was vaguely aware of falling to his knees and clutching at his head. Snoke wasn’t drawing anything in particular to the forefront and then suddenly the pressure was gone but the pain echoed on. He could open his eyes and Snoke had stepped down from the step of his throne. 

“Does this pain feel good to you General?”  
“I, dont-,” Hux tried to speak but his throat was raw. He’d been screaming and hadn’t heard himself. Having had his whole mind opened at Snoke’s leisure, there was surely enough reason for Snoke to use this pain to end him.

“You wish to ask whether you deserve it?”  
“My lord,” Hux gasped for breath as the attack stopped suddenly. Hux tasted blood in his mouth and when he could open his eyes he saw his nails had dug into his palms enough to draw blood there too.

“General, I work within facts and you are currently an uncertainty,”  
“What would you have me do?” Hux asked, a rasp in his voice despite his effort to regain his composure.  
“I would have you replaced and reconditioned, I would have you give over your entire being to the First Order without any memory of your doubts. Your father certainly had fewer insecurities,” Hux glanced up as he saw Snoke step in close enough that from his hunched position Hux could see his shoes and bottom edge of his robe, “Fewer weaknesses,”

The door opened behind them and Hux heard Snoke his beneath his breath at the intrusion.

“Sir! Excuse me, Sir. The Resistance have arrived,” He heard Phasma’s voice from behind him and he’d never been so thankful for an interruption. His second thought was that she had probably just put herself in the firing line. 

“I’m aware Captain,” Snoke snapped in her direction, “Also that I was not to be disturbed,”  
“Apologies Lord Snoke, but these are more than just fighters,” Hux glanced up behind him to see Captain Phasma. He was momentarily was grateful that she would be unlikely to convert on his moment of obvious weakness to a rumour that would spread throughout the First Order with or without his permission. A weakness in perhaps his final moments would do nothing for his lasting image.

“Captain, I’ve heard your abilities praised,” Snoke drawled, a hiss in voice betraying his frustration, “Deal with them,”  
“Sir,” Phasma nodded. Hux was about to drag his eyes away when the Captain stepped forwards and two streams of stormtroopers rushed in behind her focussing their fire on Snoke. 

Lord Snoke was thrown back as he threw up a shield and the bombardment of shots rebounded around the room.

“He’s an imposter, use any means necessary,” Hux heard Phasma shout as he pushed himself to his feet. Further shots appeared from sections of the walls above them, all aimed towards Snoke’s position. With a twist of his hand the shield seemed to expand like a detonated bomb which nearly threw Hux from the bridge and threw off many of the stromtroopers. Phasma barely shifted in her stance and was firing back immediately. 

Snoke drew his lightsaber to deflect the shot and raised his hand towards Phasma when Hux had hold of his own blaster. As he brought it up to take aim it Snoke shot him a dark glance and it was thrown from his hand. He watched it for a moment to see it disappear down into the darkness beneath them. He’d lost his most effective weapon but it had earned Phasma a moment of distraction.

Some of the stromtroopers had renewed their efforts but all of their attacks were thrown wide. A blur of movement caught Hux’s eye above them as a fleet of Resitance fighters flew overhead. The ship’s shields were holding but the ground beneath his feet rumbled.

“How dare you, all of you. You’ll pay for this betrayal,” Snoke’s voice echoed through Hux’s head but if this was going to be how he went out he wasn’t going to listen to it, and he wasn’t going to let Phasma lose to it.

Hux glances round to take stock of where his allies were as he reached inside his coat for his knives. Snoke was fast retreating, his lightsaber taking out every blaster shot before it hit. He had to dive as an errant blaster nearly caught his shoulder. He twisted round, knife in hand and when he saw his opportunity there the knife clear across the room. To his surprise the knife struck Snoke in his shoulder. 

Snoke stumbled and Hux reached for another knife from his sleeve. When Hux looked up Snoke was pulling the knife from his shoulder. His eyes glowed red in the dim and dark room and they were trained on Hux.

“My power cannot be undermines by the likes of you,” Snoke growled. The blasters around them had stopped and with a hasty glance the stormtroopers all around the room had either dropped or neutralised their blasters. “And neither your achievements nor your betrayal will not be remembered,” His voice echoed around the room and he stalked forwards and Hux was frozen. Against his will he was dragged upwards as though there were a hand picking him up by his neck. The knife in his hand shook and as Snoke stepped in closer Hux’s arm was pulled by the force to press the knife to his own neck.

“You had potential. Kylo Ren had potential. No-one will mourn for either of you,”  
“Nor for you,” Hux heard Phasma say and Snoke seemed to jerk forwards. His eyes flared and he jerked again. 

His control over Hux vanished and dropped him as Snoke dropped to his knees. Hux’s knees hit the edge of the bridge and he scrambled for purchase on the walkway as his body hung over the crevasse. Snoke fell hard against the floor just in front of Hux, his blood greasing Hux’s grip as he struggled to pull himself up. Two white boots kicked Snoke out of the way and stepped in front of him. A solid hand took him under the arm and pulled him up. With the help he could clamber up and stood to face Phasma.

 

“Why did you do that?” He asked as he straightens his shoulders and look down as Snoke’s limp body.  
“What would you have me do now?” Phasma asked. “Will you assume the title Supreme Lord Hux?”  
“I cant take Snoke’s place. Without Lord Snoke, the Knights of Ren will have no allegiance to the First Order and will have to be subdued,”  
“Not his power maybe, but you could lead the First Order,” Phasma said. Her assertion gave Hux a greater insight into her loyalty than he’d ever anticipated.

“Then I need your allegiance,” He said. His words more a question as he faced her full on.  
“Have your cause to doubt it? Perhaps you missed that I just saved your life,” He nodded and took a deep breath. A laugh escaped him and then his gaze was torn to a fighter flying overhead, closely pursued by a TIE fighter. Their existence remained at risk.

“You need to take your guard and return to the Finaliser,” He decided, “Maintain the ship and get it out from under the Resistance radar,” He explained as he straightened his uniform and worked through the necessary key points of getting them both off the ship alive.  
“And you?”  
“I need to go down to the planet,” He started to walk back towards the door, Phasma keeping pace at his side. His going down to the planet to find Ren was essential. If they left the Resistance might still investigate. Hux’s priorities seemed to have permanently placed Kylo Ren above Hux’s commitment to the First Order.

“The Resistance are out there, you’ll be shot down,”  
“Which is why we will surrender this ship and it’s occupants.Then you can take the Finaliser and leave the system. I’ll collect Kylo Ren and follow you,”  
“We’ll retreat to the current project, if you don’t join us in a week we’ll find you,”  
“Thank you Phasma,”  
“Good luck Hux,” She salutes him in return and then turns and strodes away. She raised a hand to her communicator on the side of her helmet. “This is Captain Phasma, all Finaliser troops return to the hanger. ”

Hux stopped to watch her go and then raised his head to see another formation of Resistance fighters fly overhead. They’d get through this ships defences soon enough. For now he had to issue a surrender from this ship and then get a transport down to the planet. First he had to offer the ship up in surrender and commandeer a ship of his own. 

 

Resistance fighters swarmed Snoke’s ship within minutes of the message being issued though none dared get close enough to land. Hux would have been suspicious himself if such a gift had been offered. 

Hux piloted a shuttle out beneath them, it’s cloak on and one of many fleeing ships full of staff and stromtroopers. It was unlikely that no-one spotted him but if he could get close enough to ground level he’d not be tracked easily.

“You’d better give me a clue Ren, I’m coming in blind here,” He muttered he circled down over an ocean and land came into view on his horizon. He scanned the planet for signs of life but there’s nothing in the vicinity of his transport. 

Hux saw nothing still as he flew over a heavily forested area but as a clearing big enough for him to land emerged his gut feeling told him to set the ship down. The air felt damp as Hux stepped out on to solid ground, the transport would be camouflaged enough by the surrounding trees from even low flying reconnaissance searcher. Hux had no blaster, only five of his eight small knives he usually carried and no food or water if he ended up stuck and stranded here. 

His hand hovered over the knife at his waistband when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He listened carefully and heard small light footsteps on damp leaves. 

“If that’s you Ren stealth is still your downfall,” He twisted and ducked behind a boulder but no shot flew overhead and no voice replied. He crept around the boulder waiting to catch sight of any movement when a small grey wolf appeared around the side of the boulder. Hux flinched at it’s sudden appearance and on impulse his knife flew through the air. The wolf in front of him darted to one side and the knife flew out into the forest. The wolf circled him and Hux eyed it carefully whilst keeping half an ear on anything else that dared to approach him through the forest. 

Slowly he stood to full height and looked around. The wolf hadn’t appeared to be a threat but the way it lingered around him as he retrieved his knife was unnatural and irked Hux’s suspicions.

“Whose side are you on anyway?” He asked it and the wolf stared back.The wolf circled him and then trotted off through the bushes. 

With it gone Hux looked around. There was nothing to suggest he go in any one direction. He considered getting back into the ship when the wolf darted out from the trees again.

“Haven’t you got somewhere to be?” He snapped, it’s sudden appearance caught him off guard again. It jumped forward and he stepped back thinking it intended to bite him. It turned it’s back to him and trotted forwards a few steps before it looked back. 

“I’m going to follow a wolf through the woods,” He sighed as he stepped towards it and it took a few more steps through the bracken. It looked back again “In case I wasn’t already losing all sense and rationale,”

 

He walked for half an hour through dense forest and the damp soaked through his clothed and boots. Hux despised the damp. He felt the book still in his protected inner pocket. He was not caring for it as well as if he’d left it in it’s nook on the ship.

He was about to turn back to the ship as a heavier rain mist filtered through the trees when the wolf yipped. Hux looked up to see a stone dwelling that emerged from under a low mound of soil.

“This can’t be it,” He looked down at the wolf who had circled back to his side, “Kylo Ren is in there?” The wolf nudged his leg and Hux felt his reality shift. He’d never liked the force and now he believed this creature was practically sentient. He trod forwards through the high grass and ferns.

He spotted scorch marks on a number of trees and as he stepped closer to the apparent entrance of the dwelling there were scorch marks against the outer stone walls. Hux hummed.

“Kylo Ren, all powerful force user can’t come out and greet me himself. He send a four legged creature with the impulse to cock it’s leg at every new smell. I should have expected it, can’t say hello without an insult lingering in the air,”

Hux ducked beneath the door and his eyes darted around the single room. It was as bare as Kylo’s quarters on the ship but for the fewest necessities. A pot on a ledge carved into the stone, a fire pit that had burnt out to a charred mess on the ground, a chair that looked so badly cobbled together it looked not to hold it’s own weight but rather each peice rested against each other precariously. 

In all the bareness it was odder still that Hux’s eyes fell on a woven basket stuffed with what looked like bundles of cloth. Further scorch marks marred the walls but they looked faded as though they had been there some time and wiped at to cover their damage.

His eyes followed the wolf as it crossed the room and round a curved corner the air seemed to chill further. His eyes fell on Kylo Ren laid out on a low stone bench. 

The wolf jumped carefully over him and slipped out of a small window above him. Ren lay deadly still and Hux couldn’t see his chest rising with breath. He stared, frozen in place, waiting for Ren to get up.

Ren didn’t move. 

Seconds passed until he built up the nerve to cross the room. He leans down over Ren to check for a pulse. It was present, but slow and weak.

“You can’t die now. If you die here what was the fucking point of any of it,” He lashed out but pulled back just before his fist made contact with the wall. Everything in this damnable hut seemed carved from stone and breaking his hand would have been foolish in his current state of affairs. He pushed himself up and took a few steps away. He has nothing in his power that can help Ren if he is injured or dying. He leant against a low shelf and with deep breaths tries to force down all his tensions from where they curldled his stomach. His eyes and throat felt raw and there’s a weight pressing down on him he didn’t think he could continue to carry.

“Hux?” He heard Ren’s quiet rendering of his name couldn’t didn’t believe his own senses. He straightened and turned slowly and saw Ren sitting up. He watched Hux with uncertain eyes.

“What the hell were you playing at?” The words burst forth from him and in an instant Hux knew that he hadn’t push his tensions far enough away from his thoughts. His breath shook his as he exhaled and he couldn’t move a muscle.

“I was meditating, what did it look like?” Ren sneered and Hux can’t bring himself to snap back. He hated how much he can’t do in Ren’s presence.

“It looked like you were dead,” He heard his own his voice falter as he spoke. He crossed the room in three steps and cups Ren’s face in his hands, feels the coolness of his skin and watches his eyes flicker of Hux as if he expected Hux to tear his head from his shoulders. 

“Hux,” At the sound of his name Hux his knees crumpled beneath him and his hands and head fell to Ren’s lap. He knew he’s given himself to Kylo Ren and he waited to be thrown away.

Hands stroked up his arms and pulled at his shoulders. He looked up and was pulled toward Kylo Ren. He pulled Hux in and met him in a kiss. A strong kiss that Hux pushed all of his fears into. Ren lay back and pulled Hux further over him. Hux only wanted to press forwards and he could. He could hold and feel. He wanted Ren’s confirmation that they’re both alive and he took it.

His hands travelled up Ren’s waist and pulled him closer and he felt hands circle his neck. There are no nails pressing into skin and no scratches deep enough to draw blood but it’s still desperate. It builds a fire in Hux that spread through him, burned up his fears and left only relief in it’s wake. 

He broke away and looked down at Ren. His hair is splayed back and Hux reached a hand up to run through it. In a second he remembered the reasons that had driven him here hung his head low.

 

“Fucking idiot,” He muttered. He felt Ren’s fingers which had traced up the back of his neck stilled in their movement  
“Are you talking to me?” He asked.  
“I’ve gotten used to talking to the most intelligent thing in the room,”  
“So that’s a yes,” Ren pushed him back and Hux retreated more than he was pushed to do.  
“That’s,- I was talking to myself,” Hux was still trapped Ren down and he shifted to get up completely. He knew his moment of relief was short-lived. Hux moved back again as Ren sat up before he suspected he’d be thrown back.

“Why are you here Hux?” Ren asked and a hand wraps around his wrist and prevented him from putting any more distance between them. Hux met Kylo’s eyes, each boring into the other. Hux took in every detail from the cuts and scratches to the shadows beneath the other’s eyes.

“The Resistance are here, they’ve been looking for you,” Hux said and he felt like he was making an admission of weakness. Ren’s eyes softened and he’d heard the admission as clear as day. He watched as Kylo appeared to little out a huff under his breath and pulled Hux in with a hand on the front of his coat. 

“Didn’t peg you for turning on the First Order. I guess stormtrooper conditioning rubs off after a while,” Ren didn’t look sure of himself but a muscle twitched at the corner of his mouth that should have been the start of a smile. It was cut short and Hux knew he deserved no more. He refused though, to back away again. Not so long as Re’ns hand stayed on him.

“I can protect you, but only if your come with me. You wait til the resistance are flying overhead what makes you think they won’t kill you?”  
“I know I can’t go back, to you or my family. That doesn’t mean I need your protection,”  
“Snoke’s dead,” Hux offered, a chip he hoped might tip the balance. Ren didn’t seem surprised  
“I felt it.” Ren nodded, “You didn’t kill him though,”  
“Phasma.” He said, “Seems I cultivated a friendship,”  
“Are you sure? That she’s your friend not that she’d kill for you,”  
“You’re the one with the force visions, what do you think?” Hux snapped and he felt himself losing his opportunity, his goal; That Ren would choose to stay here and Hux would find little but emptiness in every reach of space.

“The resistance won’t find us. This place is masked,” Ren half shrugged, “in a way,”  
“In a way?” Hux said incredulously, “You realise I found you,”  
“That is something I’m curious about,” Ren nudged him and raised a brow to prompt him to explain.  
“A wolf was involved,” Hux said. The admission sounded ridiculous to be spoken aloud.  
“You should have shot it,” Kylo said, his curt tone suggesting he knew more of the creature’s interference that Hux had witnessed. Ren pulled him closer still and Hux nearly fell into his space as Ren trace a hand under his coat and round his side to the small of his back

“Mislaid my blaster,” Hux said. He glanced away to the floor when he realised their conversation of Ren’s safety had led them off on a tangent and he hadn’t the ability to offer the man anything that might convince him.

Ren reached up to turn Hux back to face him. He leant forward and leant his forehead against Ren’s. Hux shut his eyes and cupped his own hand around the back of Ren’s neck. Ren’s thumb gently stroked Hux’s cheek. 

“You’re shaking,” Ren whispered.  
“It’s been a long day,”  
“Can I?” He tapped two fingers on Hux’s forehead.  
“Can you what?”  
“Help,” Ren’s hushed voice seemed right beside him.

“Do your worst,” Hux said, still reluctant to open his eyes. 

Slowly a cool ease of pressure seemed to grow from when Ren’s fingers pressed to his temple. As it spread Hux felt like he could only think of what he was feeling right at that moment. The coolness of Ren’s touch in his fingers and his forehead. The sound and feel of their breathing. 

“You’ve never done that before,” Hux said. He slowly opened his eyes to see Ren staring back at him. This. This was the feeling he had been searching for, and for just a moment it filled up whatever soul was left to him.

“No. Never been in your head before either. Is it what you expected?” Kylo asks and Hux can’t imagine anything more different than what he’d imagined. What he’d felt before of too many thoughts crowding in his head or the nudges of impulses that happened when Ren was around. 

Hux felt the edging of Ren’s presence dissolve away as Ren dropped his hand away and Hux caught the wrist as it fell.

“Stay,”  
“As long as you do,” Ren did smile then, a small and sad smile that could have broken a weaker man’s heart. Hux felt it touch his heart and released Ren from his grip when the other man eased his hands. He leant back and taps his temple where Ren’s fingers had rested,  
“Up here,”  
“You don’t want me in your head,” Kylo said. He shook his head as if the gesture would deter Hux.  
“I need you,” Hux said, his words overtook him again, “Fuck, Kylo I need something,” Hux felt his hands shaking again his weaknesses and fears shown the light of day. He did need something. Something to concentrate on that wasn’t how he felt like he was spiralling. How his anger alluded him when in any other situation he’d alsh out with words of actions.

“It’s Ben now,” Ren’s words caught him off guard. He was quiet and unsure himself.  
“Back to Ben Solo huh?” Hux raised an eyebrow and tried to get a hold on himself  
“No, just Ben,”  
“Okay,” Hux says quietly, “Ben,” Ben nods and takes Hux’s hand and pulled him forwards and ushered him to lie down. Hux feels the wave of the force sink into his mind again and he buried his head against Ben’s neck. They lay together, breathing in sync. Gentle touches and silence shared between them. 

When the sounds of fighters flying low overhead reached them Hux doesn’t move. He wanted to believe that they wouldn’t be found and Kylo, no, Ben didn’t seem inclined to fear the noises above them. The sounds quietened and Ben cupped Hux’s jaw and pulled him into a fierce but brief kiss.

 

“Kylo Ren and General Hux of the First Order. This is General Leia Organa of the Resistance. Surrender and step outside,” Her voice seemed to emanate from the very walls around them. Hux couldn't look away from Ben’s eyes.

“Kylo Ren and General Hux of the First Order. This is General Leia Organa of the Resistance. Surrender and step outside,” The order repeats and Hux pulls away from Ben and glances towards the doorway.

“Will they kill us?” He asked, more out of curiosity than fear.  
“You’ll wish that,” Ben said. He stepped up beside Hux and Hux turns to face him. This is as honest as he can be. The only time he can be honest.  
“Only if they take you from me, I can’t lose you indefinitely again,”  
“I can stay here,” He touched the corner of Hux’s brow, “They can’t take that,”

 

Hux stepped out of the small shelter first, his coat shed on the floor inside and his hands raised in surrender. Ben followed a couple of steps behind him. There were no Resistance fighters to be seen until they stood ten steps from the shelter, at which point dozens of them emerged from the tree line and all around.

General Organa stepped out furthest. Her face is schooled but her eyes pass over Hux in favour of her son.  
“This has been a long time coming, has it not?” She asked. Hux glanced to the man at his side to see his eyes downcast to the floor.  
“Not quite as either of us expected,” Ben replied.


End file.
